You may be wondering what I miss from back home. I know I’m supposed to say my family first but if you’ve ever spent 3 weeks eating with a fork and spoon you’ll know the real answer. Knives! Those wonderful inventions. I liked chopstick immersion in Japan because it’s a completely different method, this is just different enough to make me appear like a toddler who can’t yet use cutlery.

Although I am now past the point of confusing the currency. You know when I first got here I thought that there was a 25 peso coin (peso is like the Philippine dollar). I tried to pay for my entire grocery shopping trip with 25 centavos coins. I had chucked down the equivalent of about 5 cents to pay for $10 worth of food. Thankfully the guy next to me cleared his throat and informed me I’d got it just a little bit wrong. And I’d wondered why the cashier was looking at me funny… I’m more experienced now I guess.

Today I’m up at the healthy time of 2:45am… I don’t know how long a body can do this for. But I’m going to find out soon enough. Nevertheless, I still had the energy to copy Jesus and perform the “Lazarus, wake up!” thing. But Kuya A’s brother was so sleepy I had to do it twice. I guess that proves I’m always second best to Jesus.

Time to hit the road. The streets at night do have a different kind of beauty that surrounds them though.

The quiet lanes were deserted by all beings except the strays. They bark continuously at each other, fighting over territory that neither truly owns. I should make some reference to world politics here but I’m too tired (and too nervous) to draw any analogies out of it.

That being said I’m up for a comment on societal brainwashing. On the bus trip home we were bombarded with advertisements and commercials played over the loudspeaker, to the extent where I could recite the Tagalog ones. Readers familiar with “Brave new world” by Aldous Huxley would be correct in assuming that it was a similar experience to the hypnopaedia. Especially as everyone was trying to sleep throughout the journey.

Oh and even though I’ve had the staring explained to me I was at a loss of what to do when an entire bus full of school kids were gazing at me while we were in a traffic jam. It was so awkward!

Back at civilisation I had half an hour before there was a Christmas lunch scheduled between the various missionary families that operate here in the Philippines. I had my first ever introduction to American football. This was a mix between trying to knock people over and running blindly away from my team in the hope of catching the oddly shaped ball that was supposed to be homing in on my location like a guided missile. As Americans (and anyone who has any understanding of the sport) can guess, I left this experience more than a bit confused. Hand me a badminton racquet any day. Perhaps I’m being unfair, I played in sandals after all. My feet became rather tender in the aftermath, I knew I needed those calluses.

All of a sudden a deep whooping cry echoes from down the street, just past the palm trees. The kids faces all light up with pleasure… meanwhile I’m preparing myself to take on someone who believes he’s a Filipino Tarzan. As it so happens I wasn’t too far off, not Tarzan. Taho man.

Taho is a popular Filipino snack food which is made up of soft tofu, caramelised brown sugar and sago pearls which have the consistency of jelly. The above is loosely mixed and forms the sugary amalgam below:

I would like to clarify that it’s tastier than it may look. And as the sugar sinks to the bottom it becomes sweeter as you finish it. The last mouthful is pure bliss. It’s a chewy kind of drink and served warm, an excellent snack for post-football activities.

Inside the house the throng (of about 40 people including children) huddled round a piano to sing some traditional carols. Including Silent Night in German. After hearing about the tale of Jesus’ birth it was time for the gift exchange. By all reports the stealing was kept to a minimum but that didn’t stop my very own piano teacher from snatching away my pretty Christmas crockery, I had opened a present to unearth a gorgeous ceramic plate emblazoned with patterns of holly.

I’m not bitter. At all. Really.

After all I finished up with these little treasures.

We interrupt this blog report to bring breaking news: The Ukulele Kid has undergone a feat fatal to most humans except for Americans……..One… AND A HALF servings of Christmas dinner! Ladies, you may fan yourselves and if the gentlemen in the room require it, cigars will be set up in the parlour to help you accept this shocking news.

Now now, I must admit that I’d inadvertently prepared for this as I hadn’t eaten for 10 hours. My breakfast was at 2:30am and I hadn’t really had the time to eat anything since.

At home I realised my sad performance and snoozed for 3 hours to sleep off the disappointment.

The evening was spent with the younger B’s and after some delicious macaroni and cheese we exchanged riddles throughout the evening. Mostly including how people died and why. 90% of them seemed to fall from the sky in some way shape or form. Fellowship. A word commonly used here. I’m feeling the fellowship vibes and I like it.

Night night faithful blog readers, I hope I’m doing this right, I’ve had no experience, no lessons/tutorials and no advice. Enjoy.