Author: ukekid99

Day 14 (6/12/2016)

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It’s beginning to look a lot like Chris….Oh wait. No, they started that in September. How is it over there in your respective countries? Are the lights up yet? Are you already sick of Christmas carols? The Philippines has been in Christmas mode since September and to me I can’t imagine the streets without the lanterns up.
Special breakfast mention:
These things:
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Master B style: cut in half and lathered in butter
Miss B style: Just eat it like you would a biscuit. Grab, bite and eat.
I wasn’t particularly partial to either one style. I enjoy them both, these savoury scones as they are called were rather tasty and puzzling to me who has only ever had sweet scones with cream and jam. (As is proper I might add).
So my morning consisted of lugging my luggage back to the mostly abandoned dorm. Once I had established that everyone was at class and the rapture was yet to come I had a sit down in the balcony eating Mammon. Not mammoth (yet) but mammon. It’s the squishy bread snack I mentioned earlier. I did take a photo for you guys this time though.
I call it God gifting manna to the Israelites:
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Went to class (piano pedagogy) and I’m greeting people by name at last. I feel some genuine friendships forming and coincidentally my Facebook friend count has recently soared. In class I learnt about becoming a piano teacher and it was fascinating to see piano lessons from the other perspective. Maybe this will aid me when I set up piano lessons in Australia.
Went back to the B’s for lunch and some scrumptious pumpkin cake. But because I can never seem to sit still in this country I took a tricycle back to college. Now… Tricycles are my favourite mode of transport here, the nippiness, the feel of the wind but this tricycle should have been scrapped decades ago. It’s brakes would have woken up the dead and rendered them deaf.
There is something about church pews. They weren’t meant for classes. In biological terms the gluteus maximus undergoes hyper-achiness due to the mitochondria (which we all know to be the powerhouse of the cell) are being squished by the unforgiving wooden boards.
But despite that I learnt about the flaws of Catholicism (there are quite a few it seems). I think my favourite is the ex cathedra utterance, this is when the pope sits on his throne and declares something, it is always infallible according to catholic teachings. That being said… If one pope declared Joan of Arc a witch and burned her and another made her a saint then which is she? Which one said something fallible?
My classes ended at 6pm and so I was fairly starving by the time I got back to the dorm. Which was locked. Marvellous, I’m getting my key tomorrow, full student or not. I will admit to missing chapel (shame upon my soul) but I hadn’t started eating until 7pm and I still had to get my bags unpacked. I embraced my toaster which I’d missed over the weekend and happily put it to work again
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The evening was uneventful but by no means a waste. I’m ready to run tomorrow (apparently in a new location) and I’m looking forward to that.

Day 13 5/12/16 (Monday) Mostly dodging death…

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Thoroughly full after a 2:30am breakfast of rice, bacon, chicken and a banana I set off once again for Manila. It went a bit better this time, I managed to sleep (not on the floor) and walking through the city was much more manageable with the cooler climate. ‘Twas not without its challenges though.
We did end up being refused by a taxi in the middle of a highway. He waved us off and then we were trapped in a ring of blaring horns (myself carrying a large piece of luggage and a ukulele). Praise the lord I wasn’t run over whilst escaping that death trap.
The second near death experience was also a bit of a surprise. Namely being that the jeepney decided that it’s better for me to depart while it’s still moving, we called stop, he waited 3 seconds and took off again. I jumped down off the moving vehicle and then narrowly avoided the oncoming herd of traffic. (Picture the wildebeest stampede in The Lion King).
So before 9 o clock I had dodged the scythe of the grim reaper twice and was ready to enjoy my life while I still could.
Back at the B’s I had my second breakfast and walked my hobbit feet up to my room where I saw this.
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The sign is a little hard to read but it says welcome back. Such a sweet kid.  I nearly decapitated myself it’s true but it’s the thought that counts.
We caught a taxi to a shopping mall called green hills and I bought a white elephant gift? I think that’s the right term, later on it’ll be in a secret Santa game. The minimum was 300 pesos spent so I bought some head themed gear. A trilby (the fashion never dies) a head massager (looks like a whisk) and a neck pillow which is most often used on an airplane. If I end up giving myself those gifts I will be rather happy actually. And when I think about it I’ve never seen a Filipino wearing a trilby. There’s a first time for everything I suppose.
Next we ordered some lemonade at a stall and I watched the lady squash fresh lemons with a slightly evil looking machine. I smiled, took the drinks and handed them to the B family. They specifically requested natural but I had a small hunch that 3 lemons worth might be a touch too sour. It was. So with some added syrup we set off to the pearl changae.
Now according to Mr B the changae is a large number of stalls in a given area. I imagined a market sized setup but I have never in my life seen so many pearls in one spot. Look at this:
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And that is one shop in one row. There were easily 10 rows 5 deep. All of them looked like they’d had an oyster hooked on steroids for the last 30 years. There some beautiful jade bracelets as well, my personal favourite though was a honey coloured necklace made out of citrine. As an ex-beekeeper I feel confident in saying it looked like honey had been pressed into perfect golden spheres. But Mrs B mentioned that pearls are like marbles here which explained why none of the storekeepers minded the 11 year old who was crawling round under the stalls looking for spares or bits that had dropped off. We walked out of that changae with our pockets jingling.
At home the Christmas lights were being put up (the traditional lantern type)
Like this:
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Twinkle, sparkle, shiny….. Hang on…
But suddenly I remembered I had a singing lesson in 15 minutes! Panic!!!
One speedy tricycle later…
Well my first official voice lesson was pretty interesting. I am classed as a baritone with a range of F (2 below middle C) and a D one octave higher than middle C. Not bad I think. Overall the singing lesson went over time by half an hour because I and my teacher were so enthusiastic to just do “one more thing”. I learnt about breathing exercises, sang a couple of hymns and as a treat am going to learn an Irish folk song. All is well.
Dinner was a TV dinner with the B’s tonight. I was introduced to a hilarious show known as Dick van dyke. American humour apparently, but it had me in stitches. It also showed gorgeous 50s fashion, nice
suits, pretty hairstyles and classy American-ness.
I whiled away the evening listening to beautiful classical music (Christmas carols as well), all in the glow of the twinkling, blurry Christmas lights (I had my glasses off). Evan was asking me why we were just lying there, I suppose soon. He’ll realise that it’s more of a luxury than it seems. Time is the most valuable thing we own. I nearly fell asleep watching the hypnotic motions of Lydia crocheting a blanket into creation.
When I did fall asleep (later in bed) I had a pretty odd dream. My dream consisted of me hanging from a climbing frame… in an arena… fighting skeletons and dinosaurs, and skeleton dinosaurs. Only Filipino food can make dreams like that….
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Day 12 4/12/16 (Sunday)

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Readers might just have to put up with the weekends being a little short. Apologies but that’s life. On the upside I have a small story for you. And it includes these lovely fellows:
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So I’d come to notice that there were an extraordinary number of pigeons dwelling on the church rooftop and even though there was a birdhouse nearby I was puzzled as to why they didn’t fly off and enjoy the day. I marched over to inspect the aforementioned pigeons and observed that they didn’t seem to be too bothered about close human contact. So I moved closer… And closer… And closer still. I could get within 1m before they walked away from me. But they didn’t fly away or anything. Eventually I walked towards a corner and well…cornered them until they were balancing on the edge of the roof. And then it struck me. I yelled over to Kuya A “Can these pigeons actually fly or what?!?”. He glanced over and shook his head. Ah. Oh dear they’ve had their wings clipped… How mean of me. This reminds me of the Disney producers who chased lemmings over a cliff. I had very nearly caused 15 pigeons to plummet to their death while I wondered why they were so attracted to the rooftop. Oops.
15397721_1696492120680670_346023538_o I love how the brown one is ready to take death like a man. He sees the end and stands tall, strong and proud. Go ahead! See if I care about a little death.
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Speaking of said roof here is a picture of me when in alive and well. And a bit sleepy. I had just finished playing some carols and was taking a short stroll. Yes, that’s my Barong, how kind of to notice.
A word on the mosquitoes here:
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Got you, you little B******
They are everywhere it must be said and I appear to be rather tasty but so far I have not contracted dengae fever and I’m taking a malaria pill every day which should protect me from that.
As is now sort of tradition on a Sunday night the pastor, Kuya J and A and I would head out for the evening to the downtown. Kiya J showed me an arcade, this was not the crazy Japanese type of arcade I was expecting but it had some pretty unique games. I tried the basketball machine (the normal one where you throw basketballs through the hoop) and in the healthy competitive spirit I suggested a competition.
Now… I can only claim insanity and amnesia for this. It hasn’t even been a week since I was thrashed and I was pleased I managed a respectable score of 37 shots. However in the Philippines that’s respectable for a 3 year old child who’s had both his arms amputated. And is blind. Without a basketball. My friend… Well Kuya J managed to get 217 shots. Still not the high score of 280 but I think we found out who is better.
So in the evening I went for an Asian massage.
Wait!
Stop!
Cease and desist!
Let me explain.
Okay so we all know the terrible connotations that it brings but this was no such place. I’m studying at a bible college for crying out loud! Nevertheless the massage was rather pleasant and I very nearly fell asleep in the middle of it.
You know I’ve come to like jeepneys. Mostly depending on the height of the ceiling (hence the amount of head banging) and secondly the craziness of the driver. I’ve never felt so safe in traffic before and the craziness in this place just gets you places faster. I’m probably going to fall asleep in Australian traffic. I’ll also completely terrify whoever judges me on my P plates. I think it would be worthwhile to learn how to drive a jeepney here and take one on the roads of Adelaide. That’ll be fun…
…and so it’s off to bed hoping to be ready for the (frankly) ungodly hour I have to get up.

Day 11 3/12/16 (Saturday) I wonder if a human can die from lack of sleep?

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 I wonder if a human can die from lack of sleep? Probably. A mere 5 hours since the time of my last entry and I’m up, showered and about to have breakfast.
So it seems that my 9am entertainment was having fun with a machete. I had come down the stairs to see the pastor attacking a tree (pruning is probably the more appropriate term) and as I’m nearly the tallest person in the Philippines I offered to help him. Besides, one should never ignore the opportunity to capture an action shot.
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Next it was time to help Kuya A. He needed some musical help with using an old friend of mine. Musescore. A music software program I used to use and really did not expect to find here in the Philippines. So for an hour or two I spent my time plotting out violin music on a blank music sheet.
All in all I lasted about 3 hours before I needed a nap. Tis a cruel world I live in, one that rules me by prying away possible adventure time in the form of slumber. That stole away my day until 2pm. When I woke up I was served a slightly strange lunch. Whether it’s normal for them or whether they really want me to try new foods I don’t know. But I always eat completely different courses straight after each other. Today I started with some sweet tasting spaghetti bolognese and moved straight onto fried fish and rice… Individually they were delicious courses. The overlapping flavours however… It probably tasted strange, even to them
The church practice session I played some carols on the ukulele. Which I must say is well suited to the occasion. Carols are joyful and slightly carefree. Hence I was. Actually I felt so relaxed compared to the rigid posture and precision of the violins who were beside me. Like, I’m just chilling here with my uke, how’s it goin? It’s terribly hard to be serious.
Instead of a peanut butter sandwiches the pastor walks in this time with pork crackling. A bag full to the brim of pork crackling. This hospitality is getting a little bit surreal.
After that Kuya J and I went around the neighbourhood offering flyers to people who were interested (I learnt the word for “free”). We also went to a house where the children (ranging from 4 to 18) had recently become Christians but their parents had not. So we went to encourage them and to pray with them. Actually when I was sitting down an 8 year old walked in, he just gaped at me and said “oh my gosh!”. White people are truly shocking it seems. My Tagalog put them into hysterics but they could understand me okay. These people were living in something little better than a shack. There was one lightbulb for the whole house, and yet they seemed remarkably happy. Riches really can’t buy happiness.
A small secret: between you and me (and the rest of the Internet). Filipinos are afraid of the rain. This is something that, being British, makes me laugh and despair at the same time. As we were walking back from that house it started to rain, immediately Kuya J and Kuya J number 2 took out their flannels and put them over their heads. They implored me to get out of the rain as it will most definitely make me sick. They wouldn’t last 5 minutes in the U.K, it has to be said. We even stopped at a house for shelter until it cleared up, it wasn’t a torrential thunderstorm, as a matter of fact it was quite warm tropical rain. Like a shower. Except most of the showers here don’t have hot water so probably not like a shower.
That’s the day today. A bit short but much rest was needed after my journey….
Try doing that every weekend.
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Day 9 1/12/16 (Thursday)

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Day 9 1/12/16 (Thursday)

I slept outside last night because it was a bit cooler and I was in the mood to see the sunrise. All was going well until 6am where a blast of noise erupted from the church next door (not affiliated with the college). A choir joined in and a very shouty pastor did too.

On the upside I had a friend join me this morning when I was writing my journal: A very nimble gecko shot past my foot and I spent 5 minutes chasing him round with my iPad camera. I finally got an okay picture for you guys… But he was fast.

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The dorm lads and I sang carols around the ukulele. It was beautiful as we had musicians who could sing harmonies (alternate tunes that still somehow work). I actually wasn’t playing the uke for once, a dorm mate I taught was determined to make every song imaginable fit into 3 chords. C, F and G. To his credit he managed it for most of them.

At the conference today Session was 1 challenging. It discussed music and in particular the problems with contemporary Christian music. Something I listen to a lot. Hmm… Sorting out what music is acceptable to listen to in life might send me into therapy. I guess I’ll chat to others and see what they think as well. I made it through session 2, though I was nearly nodding off in the pews, warm and sleepy means a near guarantee of at least a small doze.

I went for a walk to the shops and now that I’m spending a bit more time roaming the streets of the Philippines (on my own) I notice a few things. I can say that if you don’t like being stared at because you’re white then don’t come here. Everyone does it. Staring isn’t considered rude here. Occasionally it does make me question whether I’m about to be mugged or something when you see a large group of twenty somethings all looking at you… But on the other hand you get a real sense of pleasure when some smiling street kids look up at you and say good afternoon. One kid and his buddy were riding past me on a bike and both of them turned around so far to keep me in sight that I feared they would crash and/or fall off. There is some unpleasantness on the streets, keep a sharp eye for the “mines”,  a term coined for the dog poo littering the streets. There are a fair few strays, both cats and dogs, and both in sorry states occasionally but although I know I can’t magically wave a wand and make all this go away I can appreciate everything in Australia. I always considered myself to be a grateful person, however as grateful as I might have been, I could not grasp the extent of my blessings until I witnessed the streets and shacks of Quezon City. Enough gloomy stuff for now I think.

 

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I’m starting to experiment with the Merienda (snacks) and the most prevalent form of this delicious Filipino culture is the bread. There are many Pan De Sol’s scattered around (bread places) and I’ve just finished off a bread snack which tastes of a particularly sweet pancake with a consistency of marshmallow. They’re about the diameter of a coffee mug and half as short, but let it be known here and now that the human cavity known as the mouth is capable of such marvellous feats as eating one in a single gulp.

Back at the college as part of the anniversary tradition the students and alumni play against the directors and apparently it is the once a year embarrassment that the directors have to endure. Luckily for me I snapped a rare photograph of Mr B (one of the directors) in basketball mode:

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I was roped into playing in the first quarter against my will (I already knew the Filipinos were unbeatable). A shirt and sandals were not ideal to play in either…

After a quick dip shower (it always takes 30 seconds standing there with the water poised above your head thinking this is going to be quite a shock to the system…) and I was all set.

Set for what you ask? Funny… That’s exactly what I was wondering too.

One of my “brothers” from Myanmar offered to go for an evening stroll as he needed a hair cut and he decided to go monk style:

Before …15300538_1694197307576818_364932544_n.jpgand after. The lighting makes it appear that he spent a good few hours in a tanning bed as well15310170_1694197320910150_1366821605_n (1).jpg

You know, just as I was writing this I heard my name called from below the balcony. Kuya Anthony, Ate Mich and Ate Janet have very kindly visited me to give me some new food to try. Just as you should use “Kuya” for an older male, “Ate” is appropriate for an older female. One of the foods was sticky rice pudding and here is a slightly artistic picture of it:

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Notice that the nibble represents the incompleteness of sweetness in a persons life. The underlying themes of this artistic work highlight and emphasise themes of loss, despair and is a brilliant example of artistic nonsense.

Something else which has just occurred to me is that I’ve talked about Jeepneys and tricycles but I’ve never actually shown you guys a picture of them. So here you are:15280974_1694197187576830_1064134294_n.jpg15319458_1694197300910152_1316793257_n.jpg

I learnt some Tagalog in the evening while Sir Lem practiced his calligraphy (such an amazing hobby!) and then I prepared my luggage ready to travel back to Olongapo. But I actually do sincerely plan to go to bed early tonight. Sweet dreams to the rest of you.

 

Day 8 30/11/16 (Wednesday)

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Day 8 30/11/16 (Wednesday)

Today the Philippines celebrates a national holiday called Bonafacio day. It is to celebrate one if the Filipino’s who stood up against the Spanish rule. Today is the anniversary of his death.

After a 5:30am start I went on a 5km run with Sir Lem. I have to call him that but I always think he’s been knighted. We caught a jeepney with one of his friends and this jeepney was truly funky, it had shiny blue LED lights and Ariane Grande blasting from the subwoofer system. Jeepneys are completely unique  and at the same time all the same. This jeepney clocked 80kmh in the absence of traffic and I don’t think I’ve travelled that fast since I’ve been here. The run took place at a 2.2km oval which surrounded a misty glade. Because of the holiday, hordes of people had turned up to fight in the noble but inevitable battle against our mortality. This run wasn’t actually too strenuous, we ran against the general flow and so I spent a good hour in a real life version of space invaders. Except I couldn’t blast the old Filipino lady with a laser gun, that’s just too mean. And I didn’t have a laser gun handy so….

 

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Once back at the dorm I had my first dip shower which mostly involves pouring cold water over your head with a green plastic ladle. Surely I must be running out of new things to try here… It was actually a refreshing way to wash, a blissful escape from the humidity. However the light switch broke so I had to do all of this by torch light.

I prepared to go to the conference with the others, the sessions  were interesting but I was even more tired than yesterday, in addition to that I became quite dizzy in the heat and I fear that I may have overdone it a little. Today was hot even by their standards, the difference being that the sun wasn’t hidden by the clouds as it usually is and so we had no protection today. I gave up and went back to the dorm to have a nap. Sir Lem came in just before lunch and we discussed dieting, exercise and motivation. He’s been a fantastic guy, taking care of me and showing me around.

Some of the boys arrived back at the house and together we created the ultimate Merienda
Lunch was something quite special, to me, I brought out the early Christmas gift….the toaster… It wasn’t my best toast, I had no real spreading knife, the peanut butter was a little oily, and the toast had a slight taste of ‘new toaster’. But by the powers… it was toast at last! It was scrumptious. And Filipino peanut butter tastes (at least to my palette) like it’s had a bit of honey added to it.15300557_1694197077576841_232416946_n.jpg

Some of the boys arrived back at the house and together we created the ultimate Merienda (snack). Chocolate spread on pineapple chunks. I’ve spent part of the afternoon lying outside typing away at my iPad, there is a rustling Filipino wind which is most refreshing. I’ve written my journal in some “off the beaten track places” but I’m currently in a suburb where my views look like this:

The schedule then read “piano lesson”. Given the limited time I have available to me it was more of a question-answer session including instruction on various techniques and how to form different chords. Normally I’d crave “hands on” type of practice and learning but this is the best use of the time I have.

I walked around the suburbs a bit with Sir Lem, exploring what there is to see and coming across a real supermarket (at last!), with the exchange rate being what it is I was more than happy to buy a packet of chocolate biscuits.

Finally I went to a 7pm prayer meeting at the college and that truly set me up for bed

Day 7 29/11/16 (Tuesday)

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My first whole week in the Philippines! Ta da! As a bit of a treat my body has finally adjusted to the slightly off time zones. Experienced travellers have told me that it’s actually more difficult to adapt to a timezone that is slightly out compared to one which takes your native clock, and practically turns it inside out. The thought being it messes up your routine just enough to make you fatigued but not enough so that you can easily just shift your sleep by a few hours. But, I’m alive now so let’s get on with the day.

My day was a little less chaotic today but not any less full. It’s the 31st anniversary of the bible college and so normal lessons are suspended. Instead there are conferences held that are compulsory to attend. Today focused on “right worship” and “wrong worship” and some very interesting commentary on the 10 commandments (number 2 is not a repetition of number 1). This lasted until 3pm and I was drowsy to say the least.

From here I settled into the dorm bedroom for 3 minutes before the Filipinos dragged me to a basketball game which is played 300m off the ground. Here in the Philippines basketball is considered to be the national sport. They have basketball courts in every imaginable location, including on the roof of the bible college. They have a cage on the roof which stops the slightly irritating “falling to my death after a failed slam dunk” scenario. When they play, they harness the spirit of Michael Jordan. I played for half an hour and even the older pastors ran rings round my clumsy attempts at ball snatching. Thoroughly thrashed I retreated to the dorm again to sort out the mess I had made when I first entered in.

I initially thought the dorm was in the bible college but it’s a couple of streets over and apparently I now walk confidently through Manila traffic. The key is insolence. Of course you look both ways first, but just assume you always have the right of way, the trouble starts if you’re hesitant and polite. Then people have no idea what to expect, the “me first” attitude is at least predictable.

Kuya A and I went out to the University of the Philippines to view a piano concert. The fact it was a music college was obvious as from behind the banisters and under the staircase came isolated blasts of trombone or mystic strains of Chinese drum practice. Everyone just practices all the time and absolutely everywhere. The concert itself was a lecture on the life and work of a Filipino composer called Dr Corneho. This was very special as his two eldest sons attended the lecture too. I learnt plenty of things and was thoroughly impressed by the playing which was both interestingly creative while using classically correct techniques. As Kuya A is undergoing a music major he has to attend a minimum of 15 concerts. As you can see:img_5377

Once I had thanked the performer for the evening’s entertainment (for some reason she thought I was French) Kuya A and I went off to find a spot of dinner. For the price of 50 cents  I ordered this:

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The Filipino cuisine is really not up there in terms of fame and popularity but their sweet meats are to die for. Simplicity is sometimes the tastiest option. When we had finished dinner and were still a bit hungry, but not enough for another full dinner we went Merienda hunting. Merienda is snack food and is part of the diet that Filipino society runs on. We chanced upon some meat filled breads as well as apple flavoured Spanish bread, but my latest new experience was orange juice in a bag…

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Yep. In a bag. Some stores won’t actually sell you the bottle because they need to recycle them so badly. But it’s less bulky, very squishy, refreshing and designed to be drunk whilst walking. It gets a thumbs up from me.

Meanwhile I finally drew the short straw and found the insanest jeepney driver in the Philipines. He was singing while he swerved across 4 lanes of traffic! Singing I tell you! Filipinos make excellent Christians, I believe this is in part due to the amount of faith in God they need to make it through the traffic, they’d be confined to their bedrooms otherwise.

I also spotted a pair of teenage boys practicing with Escrima sticks in their front yard. The Filipino art of stick fighting is something I’ve had the pleasure to dabble in before, you wield a pair of (roughly) one-metre wooden sticks and whirl them around yourself to create a barrier between you and your opponent. Actually, now that I think about it I forgot to mention that they were for sale in the gift shop too. I nearly had a go but when one is surrounded by a thousand, very fragile looking and expensive souvenirs it is wise to exercise a little restraint.

Back at the dorm I got to know my fellow “brothers” I shared my life story, sadly it could be summed up in 1 minute 45 seconds. If I get reincarnated then hopefully I’ll do better next time. But the dorm guys are really nice, I stayed up to 11pm chatting with Kuya Jonathan and learning lots of Tagalog. It’s bed time now but I am ready to run tomorrow morning!

Day 6 28/11/16 (Monday).

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So I woke up in a panic at 2am after hearing a phone alarm or ringtone that was originating from the next room over. I hurriedly threw on my clothes and packed my bags just in time to see the time on my iPad. Sigh. Night night part 2.
My morning involved a lot of travelling so here is a short collection of my jeepney adventures:
The very first jeepney I rode in worried me slightly because I didn’t see the driver look at the road once. He drove perfectly but he was constantly counting his money and divvying up change to various passengers. I still don’t know how he did it without causing an accident. I do like how you can pay at any time during your trip though, it’s a trust thing.
Out in the country away from the city I was the only white skinned person.  Hence the boy on the Jeepney who was staring into my very soul for the whole trip, yes… I am white…can we get past this and move on? No? Oh… Not at all? Okay, just keep staring then, go ahead. Fine. See if I care about being treated as a nothing more than an interesting painting. At least he wasn’t puking by my feet though, that honour goes to the drunk gentleman who perhaps had a wee bit too much to drink earlier in the day. Praise to the lord almighty it missed it by (In the voice of Maxwell Smart) that much. My unsoiled sandals and I departed the Jeepney and proceeded to the bus and the 3 hour trip that awaited us.
This may seem irrelevant but trust me it links up later. When learning a language its standard practice to teach that which is simplest first, your name, your age, counting a few numbers, but 9 times out of 10 it’s utterly useless. Well done, you introduced yourself. Now what?
Personally I think words appropriate for an emergency should be learnt first. This philosophy served me well today when the bus nearly drove off while Kuya A my sole companion was still in the bus stop bathroom (during a quick 10 minute stop in our very long trip). I barrelled to the front of the bus shouting “Teka Po! TEKA PO!”. Which means “Wait! Wait!”, so that piece of knowledge saved me from travelling on my own for 3 hours back into the densest city in the world (41,515 people per kilometre square), chances of being lost forever: pretty darn high. So for any traveller going to the Philippines here is a vocabulary list which is much more useful than “ano pangalan mo?” (What is your name?)
Tulong Po -Help
Para Po -Stop
Teka Po -Wait
Ako tungkol sa upang mayurakan sa pamamagitan dalawang metro robotic na elephant-I’m about to be trampled by a 2m high robotic elephant.
(Many thanks to Mrs B for the translating help!)
Po is used at the end of a sentence to make it polite by the way.
When we finally reached Manila we were spotted by Mr B and a grinning Master B. The 11 year old and I caught a tricycle back home, him chatting in Tagalog to the driver. From my point of view I find bilingual kids to be quite astounding.
Miss and Mrs B were quite happy to see me safe and sound except for the burn on my ankle which she prescribed some antiseptic cream for. Though as a matter of fact the petroleum jelly I had been using to soothe it had worked well over the last few days. As you can see it is much improved and not septic, Bonus.
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The only other business scheduled in for the day was some shopping and decorating the Christmas tree. At the mall we coincidentally discovered a Krispy Kreme shop and after buying 18 glazed donuts the power of sugar coursed through our veins, raising resting eyelids, straightening sleepy spines and causing Master B to appear as a rocket on lift off. I was fortunate enough to go Barong shopping. Now here in the Philippines a suit is about as good idea as wearing a suit of armour. You will burn to death the moment you venture outside air conditioned lands. That being said, formality is part of the Filipino culture. The Barong is a formal embroidered shirt, there are varying degrees of formality, indicated by the sleeve length and the elaborateness of the pattern displayed.
My first Barong is for everyday wear and looks like this:
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My second is much more formal and is suitable for church or other special occasions. Note that the Chinese style collar is a rare version of the Barong and is not a common feature.
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By the grace of God alone I finally managed a Skype call with mum and dad, they miss me but are surviving. I had a wonderfully Christmas evening with a cup of wassail, a glowing Christmas tree and the sounds of Christmas opera music floating in the background. Decorating the Christmas tree was a hilarious affair as I questioned the theological purpose of hanging a Starbucks cup and Krispy Kreme logo on there… I sat the koala just under the star and here is the before and after: unnamed (2).jpgunnamed (3).jpg
As well as the slightly more ridiculous ornaments just to prove how American this Filipino Christmas was:
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The B family also imparted unto me an early Christmas present. A toaster! I love them so much for that, I haven’t had any toast since I’ve been here (which breaks my 15 year streak). But no longer!
Before turning in at a relatively sane hour I had a sweet little time playing my ukulele, an old Hawaiian song this time, at least I brought along one friend form Australia. Tomorrow afternoon I believe I am moving into the college dorm. New experience number #error lost count: let’s rock and roll!

Day 5 27/11/16 (Sunday)

Posted on by ukekid99

Day 5 27/11/16 (Sunday)
Ladies and gentlemen a new record! 5:50am! It’s going to be a gradual process but I’m sure I will be fully accustomed to Manila just in time to leave it.
The beauty of learning a foreign language when you’re in that country is that you can use the phrase 30 seconds after you learn it. Before 7am I went to the back garden with Kuya A to feed the ducks their morning rice, I also happened to see a very large monkey in the neighbour’s garden. It was sitting down surrounded by a large number of cockerels.
Next to basketball one of the biggest sporting events is Sabong, the cockerel fighting, and it finally explains why I see random people walking around the city with roosters under their arms. Cockerel fighting is a legal sport here in the Philippines and a biannual tournament is held in the city where I am currently staying (Quezon city), knives are attached to the roosters legs to increase the inflicted damage and this sport is usually accompanied with betting.
The first order of the day was getting dressed up ready for church. This is my Sunday best here in the Philippines:
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Before church started I re-tuned my ukulele to the slightly flat piano. And the took my seat, thankfully in a fairly solid pew, unlike the one that fell over, but that’s not important.
I was firstly introduced to the church by the pastor. (I think… It was part Tagalog so it really could have been anything). And then the hymns started. 3 violins, a honkytonk piano, a ukulele and 40 Filipino voices, if you are ever looking for a new “sound” or just bored of normal music then I can recommend the above recipe for you.
Just before the end, the choir (including me) performed “Trust in God my soul” and received a resounding “amen!” at it’s conclusion instead of applause.
Afterwards Kuya J and I tried to see what worship songs we both knew. The goosebumps were real by the end of that mini session. All in all the service was 4 hours long and I was definitely not hungry in a spiritual manner afterwards. That being said, the growls of my stomach indicated it was time to chow.
Chomp…chomp…chomp.
Lunch was the delectable chicken liver and rice which gave me the fuel to go for a short stroll towards the nearby mountain and appreciate the view of the Filipino jungle, with a flash of red roof daring to peek into the open.
In an almost ridiculous Christian plot twist I went back to church again in the afternoon! This time though I shared my testimony and the story of dad’s foot being miraculously healed after prayer (to the extent where we carried him into our friend’s house as he couldn’t walk and after prayer and instant healing he then carried my sleeping sister out of the house.) I can really reflect and know God has blessed me over my life and especially over these last few days. His works and his help have never been more clear to me than it is now.
It was evening before I finally made it into my non-stifling shorts, J, A the pastor and I headed down to downtown. Down in downtown Olongapo I was treated to a small tour of the shopping mall. The mall made for Titans. The mall made for when giants roamed the earth, surely not made for us little humans, no matter how fanatical a shopper they may be…
Manila has 3 of the worlds biggest shopping malls and these ones aren’t much smaller. My souvenir from that trip was a lovely and exotic payong, it was a little on the expensive side but due to its durability I’m sure it was worth the price. It has the power to protect one from the natural elements and in this country is used whatever the weather. And while all of you are wondering what this mystical magical object is… It’s actually just an umbrella.
Dinner consisted of the surprisingly normal fried chicken and rice, the option of unli-rice was offered (an unlimited amount of rice) and Kuya A informed me that in his better days he could take 8 servings. Sometimes I question the business strategy risks a food company makes and whether they ever consider the power of a teenage boy’s stomach. Purple ice cream, banana, jelly (that was suspiciously close to my arch enemy: the grass jelly) and small unidentifiable beans. All of the above was arranged into a delicate sundae fashion which we promptly defaced by mixing it all together with the ice chips below. This frankly alien dessert is known as halo halo.
The dinner conversation was about Australian table manners and I told Joel off for talking with his mouth full… I certainly did not expect his cheekiness of smiling, looking me dead in the eye and saying “mmf, I’m chomp… very sorry…munch munch. I had a hilarious night out with the lads and my face ended up hurting from an overuse of smiling. I slept on a kit Kat shaped bench (who was I to ignore the order of have a break?), I visited fountains which sparkled in the night from the illuminating Christmas lights and nearly got ran overly a 2m high robot elephant. Don’t ask. A 4 year old was driving it and I’m slightly disappointed I didn’t perish under its feet as it would have made one hell of a headline “European trampled to death by villainous toddler atop robotic elephant!”.
Before I turned in I did the responsible thing and called my loving parents on Skype. Except I didn’t. I mixed up the time difference, was 4 hours late, called them at midnight and if the computer was on at home I probably woke them up with the infernal ringtone that Skype supplies. It seems I’d also forgotten to pack chargers for my devices so I’m sure I can expect them to be dead in the morning.
Night night. See you at 5:42am.

Day 4 26/11/16 (Saturday)

Posted on by ukekid99

Day 4 26/11/16 (Saturday)
Wide awake at 5:25. The Australian time zone has an iron grip on me it seems. The exhaustion will catch up with me at some point I’m sure of it.
Breakfast came in the magical form of small purple vegetables known as “Kamorte”, I think they are the Philippine equivalent of tiny purple potatoes. I also was treated to a boiled egg which the duck had hatched last night. Luxury.
I had my first jeepney ride today! Personal space is not a recognised thing here and I’ve managed to learn all the Tagalog needed to pay the driver and stop the jeepney. My friends are testing me on my Tagalog a lot now which is very helpful for practice. Except when I try to say “that was good!” and I mispronounce it to form “that was angry!”
I have been transported to a parsonage which is a little settling above a church where the pastor and his family stays. When I first walked in the church it was still being painted but by the end of the day it looked rather grand indeed. The walls and even adorned with curtains of brown and gold and the pews were lined up like warriors in a holy war. First of all I played ukulele vs viola with Kuya A and then we improvised together which caused an eerie combination, not because of the notes or harmonies but just because the sound other two instruments mixing wasn’t quite the same, the finger picking of the uke and bow of the viola. It’s an interesting effect and one I would very much like to explore later.
For the record: my first injury in the Philippines is a burn to the side of my ankle where I sat the wrong way on a tricycle and caught it on the motorbike engine. It’s not too bad but I know I’ll never sit “sideways” again.
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Later I had a small nap which I think you can all agree was probably long overdue. In the peace and quiet of dogs barking, tricycles revving, children shouting and roosters crowing I managed an hour before I went off to help set up the church.
It turns out I’ll be playing and singing tomorrow during service and so I had to hurriedly learn 8 hymns on the ukulele and learn to sing in a style that’s quite unfamiliar to me. Personally I think they should bring back hymns in Australia. There’s just something strong about then where you can really sing praises and (perhaps through the eloquence) take joy in worshipping. I met another brother today, Kuya Joel, we say he’s my brother because he looks like me, loves Japanese food and is my brother in Christ so we became fast friends and he helped me to sing in the choir as he is a tenor and I struggle slightly to reach the higher end of that spectrum. Kuya A expressed a desire to learn the ukulele, so we swapped knowledge. Music for language. He now knows “the” 4 chords that every pop song is composed from. Perhaps I am an evangelist for the ukulele… Setting the trend in the Philippines.
After 3 hours of hymns (and none of us were tired of praising) we called it a night until tomorrow morning and I found my favourite Filipino food for dinner. It’s scarlet coloured sweetened pork and a helping of rice. That’s it. It’s quite similar to sweet and sour pork but there’s no shame in liking it because it’s authentic (insert an impressed but slightly sarcastic gasp here).
Finally after a quick shop in the markets with Kuya A we went back to the first house to stay the night and collect the rest of my luggage. We stayed up till 10 discussing English accents and how many different types there are. Oh, we also compared our skin colour because after 40 hours of friendship you’re totally ready to break down the cultural differences barrier. I was amused to see that my “tanned” forearms were paler than his “pale” shoulders. It seems both of us and our skins are able to be sunburnt and develop tan lines.
A final thought. You know you’re are in hospitable hands when after you wake up from a nap the father/pastor comes in and hands you a loaf of bread, a spoon and a jar of peanut butter. They don’t use knives over here they use a spoon and fork but the spoon works well as a spreading tool as well. Typical … I should be making deep and profound statements between the cultural attitudes of the two nations and all I can focus on is that they use a spoon to spread peanut butter.
If you still follow this journal after insights like that you’re either really bored, in solitary confinement or you actually like me. So thank you.